Tuesday, 26 January 2010

The Journey Conspiracy

con·spir·a·cy (kn-spîr-s)
n. pl. con·spir·a·cies
1. An agreement to perform together an illegal, wrongful, or subversive act.
2. A group of conspirators.
3. Law An agreement between two or more persons to commit a crime or accomplish a legal purpose through illegal action.
4. A joining or acting together, as if by sinister design: a conspiracy of wind and tide that devastated coastal areas.

The uttering of said word can lead to several images penetrating your brain like pop up adverts on porn websites. 9/11, JFK, Watergate, Scientology. All widely publicized by the media and paranoid Internet rumour-jockeys. Fire, blood, and explosions are among the sights that attribute to the impact of the word, but most people aren't aware of the effect the group of conspirators below have on the world.

Starflower

No, this isn't a group of sex offenders, it's Journey! The craprog-rock band that reached the height of their popularity in a far, far away land, known as the 80's. More specifically their psuedo-inspirational song "Don't Stop Believin'" has been coined as an epic anthem by morons ever since.

It is my belief, that Journey have been cutting deals within the media industry, to keep themselves in the charts, and locked into our consciousness until the end of time. Beginning with Family Guy singing Journey Karaeoke, following with the X-Factor's Joe McElderry singing Journey Karaeoke, and finally with American musical TV sensation, Glee, jumping on the last carriage of the High School Musical bandwagon by leeching off 2 pop-culture beasts at once.

Call me, crazy, call me paranoid, call me what you will but I believe that in many years from now, Steve Perry will use the download charting numbers to power a machine that will keep him singing his ball-churning, helium-fueled ballads until the end of time, therefore solidifying the stranglehold on the idiotic masses, and building up his crappy, uneventful, curly-haired dross to be way more than it actually is.